Did my last surgical procedure today. A small I&C for a chalazion. A friend of mine settled in the UK has asked me to help his cousin, and she had taken a 2 hour journey to see me rather than the dozens of ophthalmologists in her city and in the towns she drove through. I couldn’t not operate on her when she trusts me like this. Well, trusts her cousin’s opinion of me, but still.
It struck me how I would miss the small things. I’ve been focused on the big picture with the job change. Less driving, more days off, stuff like that. Today I thought how I would never scrub for surgery again and I remembered the professor who taught me how to scrub. I thought of how I wouldn’t be giving local blocks and I remembered the first peribulbar block I gave. Putting the mask on, the cold titanium instruments in my hand, the eye exposed under green surgical drapes, gauging the depth of the incision by the feel of how the blade sliced through tissue, innumerable little tricks I learned from seniors or from experience, the smell of the powdered rubber gloves, that itch that grew insistent the moment you got into your scrubs…..it is a world that I had grown so accustomed to. C’est la vie!