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Sex and happiness?

Posted by ⋅ ⋅ 25 Comments
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Victo over at doctorly asked a question in her recent post. Does sex lead to happiness or is happiness in sex because two people feel close enough to have and enjoy sex? I don’t think I’ve answered that question, but I re-read my reply and found it mad enough to post it myself, for those who are too lazy to go over and read my reply on the original post!

“It’s all in the mind, in my view. I wonder if physical closeness automatically triggers endorphin release or if it’s just an ingrained response. Ditto for sex, which could be a very recently learned response; few species enjoy it as much as humans which argues for sex-based happiness a very recently developed conditioned reflex. What do you think? Am I Vulcan??? :D”

About hbhatnagar

I need to fill this up with much better content than I had populated it with earlier. Why I write a blog maybe? I started blogging in 2009 or thereabouts. I was a newly turned atheist and wanted to converse with others of the same persuasion. We're not exactly a big population group in India! It didn't go very well and I sort of lost interest, posting a few things now and then. I got a lot more regular over the last few months and have been posting almost daily since February '15. There were many reasons why I gradually became more regular in posting, but one way or the other, here I am! So this blog has taken shape, being at different points in time my showcase, my comedy club, my art gallery, my book club, my therapist, my close friend, my innermost self....but always my little corner of the world. You are all welcome to visit and I hope you stay awhile! A few points about me because I don't want to lead anyone on(and trust me this does become an issue more often than I'd care to admit). I'm Indian, the brown-skinned variety; if race, ethnicity or skin colour is an issue, you don't have to get to know me any more than what you see on my blog. I'm 40, so if age is an issue, please be informed accordingly. I was a doctor, an ophthalmic surgeon for 10 years before I quit practice.

Discussion

25 thoughts on “Sex and happiness?”

  1. Dolphins come to my mind . Highly horny and few hang ups ( if any ) . They chase eels , other fish and divers too !
    Conditioned response …am leaning towards that point of view .

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by priyankamoraes | 23/11/2015, 11:25 AM
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  2. The old two cents: Sex and happiness as a physical (biological) act and its corresponding sensation states are transitory and designed evolutionary speaking to tap into the immediate gratification facet of our being. This has nothing to do with the experience being fulfilled emotionally or spiritually. I would posit that there are two ways sex manifests itself: (1) as an end in and of itself, with each participant ultimately becoming immersed in his or her own self, blocking out the world, including the other participant(s) and (2) as one of infinite number of expressions of spiritual intimacy between two beings, with the key being that the spiritual intimacy is not transitory in the short-term (all things are ultimately transitory) and is fulfilling. As such the latter does not seek physical self-gratification (immediate or otherwise), rather a communion with the other being. Many people make the mistake of seeking this spiritual intimacy through physical sex, which is going in the wrong direction. If spiritual intimacy arises between two beings, it has nothing to do with the physical sex they engaged in prior to the spiritual intimacy.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Elusive Trope | 22/11/2015, 9:51 PM
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    • That’s the issue, evolution-arily speaking, joy in sex doesn’t go back a long ways. Most species don’t seem to enjoy sex it’s just a biological imperative when the female is in heat.
      As for spiritual intimacy, I don’t believe in ethereal planes of existence but I can get joy from good companionship and in many ways a clever conversation can be a lot better than fumbling sex. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Posted by hbhatnagar | 23/11/2015, 7:01 AM
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      • Sometimes our language can be limited. Spiritual can also be understood from an Jungian point of view as that part of the psyche that our conscious minds and our language does not have access to. All very biological and no need to create ethereal planes.

        Liked by 2 people

        Posted by Elusive Trope | 23/11/2015, 7:28 AM

      • I can live with that. Thank you for weighing in, you brought up another aspect to the discussion hitherto unexplored. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Posted by hbhatnagar | 23/11/2015, 7:52 AM

  3. Actually what happens is like this : We seek happiness , so when we find something Pleasuring then a hormone called dopamine and when something gives us pleasure our brain wants to do that thing again & again so that more pleasure by the release of dopamine can taken . So when we think or do sex dopamine is released .
    So we want to do it to get more pleasure .

    SO if you want to avoid it from doing again & againn then it is better that you find something else that gives you happiness and do that at some regular intervals …you wont even think of it again untill you actually want it inside .. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by bhavpreet | 22/11/2015, 3:42 PM
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  4. I thought humans were the only species that drove pleasure from sex. What other species is there?

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Uday | 22/11/2015, 2:04 PM
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    • Bonobos are, for one. Formerly called pygmy chimpanzees, they have been observed to copulate in different positions as well. The Barbary macaques of Gibraltar use sex as a tension diffusing activity, though it could be argued that the latter use sex as currency but even so the pleasure they gain from it could not be refuted from this alone. There might be others I don’t know of, of course! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Posted by hbhatnagar | 22/11/2015, 2:27 PM
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    • Dolphins. They even have gay sex and rape other dolphins (or whatever animals they find)

      Liked by 1 person

      Posted by C. T. | 23/11/2015, 12:15 AM
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      • Many other animals are known to have gay sex, experimental rats in overcrowded cages, for some reason, cause a small proportion of the male rats to offer themselves to other males….and dolphins are crazy!

        Liked by 1 person

        Posted by hbhatnagar | 23/11/2015, 7:15 AM

  5. You could very well be Vulcan!😊 They’re so repressed they probably all cut!😉 Then again my ears are probably pointy – I agree with what you say but I also think the answer to the question about sex is “both”. Hope you are well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Kathryne Miller | 22/11/2015, 12:39 PM
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