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Personal

Silence

Thank you Amy, for reaching out, wondering why I was gone from this space for so long. It’s been another time of inner turmoil, and I have not reached a shore yet; perhaps I never will. But that’s besides the point. I had reduced my personal portion of my blogs: it’s been some time since I talked about myself.

Storms have gathered, departed, burst, washed away; I have weathered them all, in one way or another. Legal tangles, a second job, emotional upheavals, tiredness, frustration, anger, pain, numbness – the reasons are many. Foremost might be a sullen stubborn pride, belatedly revived that keeps me stone. I’m not sure if pride is the correct word, pride presumes a certain joy, a satisfaction at having been kept; I have no such. It’s just this dying will to not show myself as weak as I did, so many times before. I know I have slipped from this path but I strive to keep to it. Never again.

Did I hear someone say, “Not again!”?

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About hbhatnagar

I need to fill this up with much better content than I had populated it with earlier. Why I write a blog maybe? I started blogging in 2009 or thereabouts. I was a newly turned atheist and wanted to converse with others of the same persuasion. We're not exactly a big population group in India! It didn't go very well and I sort of lost interest, posting a few things now and then. I got a lot more regular over the last few months and have been posting almost daily since February '15. There were many reasons why I gradually became more regular in posting, but one way or the other, here I am! So this blog has taken shape, being at different points in time my showcase, my comedy club, my art gallery, my book club, my therapist, my close friend, my innermost self....but always my little corner of the world. You are all welcome to visit and I hope you stay awhile! A few points about me because I don't want to lead anyone on(and trust me this does become an issue more often than I'd care to admit). I'm Indian, the brown-skinned variety; if race, ethnicity or skin colour is an issue, you don't have to get to know me any more than what you see on my blog. I'm 40, so if age is an issue, please be informed accordingly. I was a doctor, an ophthalmic surgeon for 10 years before I quit practice.

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Silence

  1. Hello … Life can be such a roller coaster ride at times can’t it? Thinking of you ..

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Julie@frogpondfarm | 24/07/2017, 11:31 AM
  2. It takes a lot from you to go through the storm like you have, and take strength to express it here. And, you expressed it so graciously.
    Pride presumes a certain joy, sometimes, the joy comes later.
    Thank you for letting us know you have weathered them all.
    Stay well, Dr. Hb (I know you will) ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Amy | 20/07/2017, 2:39 AM
  3. Nice to see you back. Your post me makes write something but if you don’t know what others are going through, better keep quite. What matters is you are back.

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Indira | 19/07/2017, 11:01 PM
  4. Good to see you back, doctor ji ๐Ÿ™‚ “this shall pass too” whatever it is that you were going through, remember that it is not permanent ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Rekha | 19/07/2017, 7:21 PM

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