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Personal

A personal post

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Quite a break I have taken. And like that friend you’ve been meaning to talk to but haven’t gotten around to calling, it becomes more difficult to get back to posting every day you stay away.

Not that my mental state is helping any. I’m in a downward spiral that I can’t seem to want to get out of. But that’s another story.

For those who know the story about my eyes, it is an ongoing saga, again. This time, I have been diagnosed with Pellucid Marginal Corneal Degeneration. And it’s progressive, so simple treatments like contact lenses won’t work for me. I’m due for a procedure on the 22nd inst. that may or may not slow down the progression. Other options are even less palatable.

This in a year that I had tried to turn my life around. I cut down on drinking and smoking, I started exercising regularly, losing weight, cycling, getting my blood pressure under control…

And now I just feel tired, spent, and all of this seems futile. I know it’s not this disease alone, but it just seems so pointless – just as it did five years ago.

About hbhatnagar

I need to fill this up with much better content than I had populated it with earlier. Why I write a blog maybe? I started blogging in 2009 or thereabouts. I was a newly turned atheist and wanted to converse with others of the same persuasion. We're not exactly a big population group in India! It didn't go very well and I sort of lost interest, posting a few things now and then. I got a lot more regular over the last few months and have been posting almost daily since February '15. There were many reasons why I gradually became more regular in posting, but one way or the other, here I am! So this blog has taken shape, being at different points in time my showcase, my comedy club, my art gallery, my book club, my therapist, my close friend, my innermost self....but always my little corner of the world. You are all welcome to visit and I hope you stay awhile! A few points about me because I don't want to lead anyone on(and trust me this does become an issue more often than I'd care to admit). I'm Indian, the brown-skinned variety; if race, ethnicity or skin colour is an issue, you don't have to get to know me any more than what you see on my blog. I'm 40, so if age is an issue, please be informed accordingly. I was a doctor, an ophthalmic surgeon for 10 years before I quit practice.

Discussion

16 thoughts on “A personal post”

  1. Hope it went well

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by Kimberly | 15/01/2018, 7:47 PM
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  2. hugs. i am sorry you were diagnosed with a progressive eye disease. I hope the surgery will go well. Sending hugs your way. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by manyofus1980 | 17/12/2017, 2:36 PM
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  3. Keep at it, Himanshu. Even when you’re not feeling at your best, the more positive things you can have in your life the more positive you should feel. Keeping my fingers crossed for you on 22nd and wishing you all the best.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Mick Canning | 13/12/2017, 2:57 PM
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  4. All those positive changes you made are not futile Dr H. Keep at it and please don’t be discouraged. I’m sorry that my good intention of checking in with you hasn’t translated into action (so easy to get caught up in one’s own hurdles and life etc), but glad to hear from you.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by 10000hoursleft | 13/12/2017, 8:25 AM
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  5. Keep hope up, Dr. Hb! You’ll make it like you did… 🙂
    Thank you for talking to us during your difficult time.

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Amy | 13/12/2017, 7:38 AM
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  6. Don’t lose hope doctor ji 🙂 I ll pray that you will get better. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Posted by Rekha | 13/12/2017, 7:20 AM
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